Someone decides to get fit. Five mornings a week at the gym. They hate gyms and they’re not a morning person. Unsurprisingly, their new fitness routine doesn’t last. Is the problem that they can’t stick to an exercise routine, or is it that this was never the right one for them? The answer makes a difference. A big difference.

the wrong question.

Most people I speak to are focused on what they aren’t doing: ‘why can’t I stick to this?’ And what this says about them: ‘I’m not motivated enough’. They’ve assumed the routine is right, so when it doesn’t work, they conclude that they are the problem. But they’ve been asking the wrong question.

Start with what you want to achieve. I want to run a successful business and stay self-employed. I thought I needed to be more active on social media. I knew it drained me. I eventually questioned whether it was the right solution. This helped me realise there was a way of using content that suited me better. This meant it felt less difficult and got me better results.

the root of the problem.

I recently had a conversation with someone who was finding it difficult to go to the gym with any consistency. During our conversation, they had mentioned other things they did in their spare time. It was a meandering conversation, but when I reflected on it afterwards, I realised they didn’t talk about going to the gym in the way they talked about their other activities. Their language, tone and body language was completely different.

They were already active in other ways. The gym simply wasn’t a good fit, so they don’t go regularly. Choosing a different activity may make it easier to stick with, making regular exercise and better results more likely.

an alternative view.

I was working with a client who wanted to be more active. They knew what they wanted to do, but they weren’t doing it. During our session they mentioned that they didn’t really like the activity that much. I did the obvious thing and challenged them. The reality was it was the best option, for several reasons. They’d tried other things and some of them were good but didn’t offer the frequency they wanted. The key, for them, was the commitment, the routine around going, the focus on the end goal more than the means of getting there.

This is a useful perspective. Their commitment to their outcome and the natural fit of the activity into their daily routine were what made it happen. Forcing themselves to focus on the activity was stopping them from doing it. Focusing on the outcome and the routine made it feel more aligned to them, and they started to do it regularly.

Sometimes the activity you don’t enjoy can still be the right choice. For this client, focusing on the outcome rather than enjoying the activity was what made the routine work.

personalisation, not motivation.

It’s rarely a willpower or motivation problem. It’s usually a mismatch in fit. The solution doesn’t align with how you think, what you like, or how you work. If it doesn’t fit you, it isn’t really a solution. Not even if it works for every person you follow on Instagram. Mostly the advice you get from other people is personal to them, at best, or generic, at worst. Trying to copy what they do or cut and paste their solution into your life is unlikely to get you the results you want.

You don’t need to dismiss what they are doing, you just need to adapt it to you. Forcing yourself to do something you don’t enjoy or that doesn’t work for you will likely mean you take your focus off something else that does work. You risk spending more time doing more things and getting less results.

find your fit.

Personalisation doesn’t mean choosing the easiest or the most enjoyable option. It means choosing the option that is most likely to work for your circumstances. Morning v evening. There’s no definitive solution. It’s about what works for you. Try both and see which works best. It’s worth noting that dismissing one without trying it means you may miss out on the perfect solution. I spent years believing I wasn’t a morning person. My behaviour backed this up and ‘confirmed’ it to me. Then I experimented and discovered that I loved early mornings, it’s my favourite time of the day. Now I choose to get up early.  

be you.

What you are trying to achieve is unique. The solution you need is equally unique. If your routine isn’t working, don’t immediately assume you need more motivation. Ask yourself whether you’ve chosen the right routine in the first place.

If you aren’t sticking to your plan and think it might be the wrong one, book a free introductory call and let’s see what’s happening for you.